MY SILLY TRUTH

http://www.chilloutpoint.com/images/2010/07/
illusions-through-the-paintings-of-salvador-dali/
illusions-through-the-paintings-of-salvador-dali-01.jpg

I don't like hypocrites

and I don't like seducers

I like you.

Love me if you wish, 

but do not be in love with me.

I think I'm dangerous,

because I'm very hurt.

You didn't hurt me!

I am hurt by my deeds.

But at least I tried, see...

I tried always to be me.

No matter what I suffered,I'm brave.

I forgive everyone and everything.

I especially forgive myself.

We did what we could just do. 

If we could do more,

we would have done it for sure.

I was not there with you,

but I can see through people.

I feel your sorrow.

I'm sincere with you to protect you.

And I'm not teasing you.

Although what I'm saying, 

could be heard completely silly,

I'm telling you my truth.

PHOENIX IN LOVE

http://fineartamerica.com/featured/phoenix-reborn-robert-ball.html

I feel so old and tired!
Each time I fall in love
I 'm transformed into a newborn soul.
And then when I fail,
it seems as if I wake up 
a hundred years later.
A few months ago I could fly,
I was walking to the moon,
I was making plans and spells,
I was a witch and a fairy,
I could seduce or conquer the world.
I lost you and I feel so minimal.
No one swears on my name.
No one 's dreaming of me.
I became a simple common tiny grain
in the humans sand, 'cause
You cannot see me anymore 
as a shiny grain of gold.
Love turns us to phoenixes, 
reborn from our ashes
and then burnt into ashes again.
What a turbulent and heartbreaking circle,
the circle that Eros draws around us!

MOTHER

I'm a mother.

I just live  for

my four wonderful crimes.

To live for myself

has no practical meaning anymore...

I tried,but

I'm continuously absorbed by thirsty ground,

I'm consumed by the insatiable "in hunger"...

I'm a mother.

I'm just a lit candle.

THE GAP

I feel wasted.
Time is passing.
I see it passing
and I'm worried.
I hate watches.
I hate the hourglass
in my head
and the other one
in my heart.
I could persuade myself
I'm invincible by time.

http://www.akdolven.com/indexb.html

But I must admit
my lightness.
I should take off
my eyeballs
not to be aware
of the view.
To do not compare
you and my every day.
Crisis moment: "I met you"
I know you are not a big deal.
But you were my deal.
My only real "mine"
and the only "mine"
I never possessed.
The only "mine" in an unique
gap of my time.

HOUSE OF CARDS

House of Cards (2005)

By Sasha Chaitow on 9 Jan 2012 

I cannot stand it,
I want to escape.
Do you understand me?
I feel weak.
I feel puzzled.
I need help.
I'm trapped.
Like a mouse 
in my own mousetrap.
Everyone thought
I was strong, mighty,
'cause I, first of all
I was deceiving myself.
I wanted to believe
in my beautiful myth,
to do not accept
all my life was a big mistake,
to lie to myself about the 
perfect dream I created.
I woke up so old,
I couldn't go back.
And now my house of cards
is demolished by the 
shining powerful reality.
I couldn't do anything more...
I don't believe myself anymore.
It is you, you, you!
Why didn't you let me sleep?
Why, you scam, since you planned
to go away?
Sorry? You cannot be sorry!
I cannot excuse you!
I'm through for ever,
I cannot excuse even me!
I faced the perfection
meeting you!
I cannot be deceived anymore...

ILLUSIONS

http://blog.vandalog.com/author/lukemcmanus/

The truth is
Noone's near me.
I don't want anyone.
They hurt me.
They all seem roses.
But they scratch me with thorns.
You're not enough.
You're just a stranger.
Alone like me.
But everyone's alone.
That is not
an excuse
or a consolation.
That is a statement.
I'm indifferent
if I'm really troubling you now.
I'm troubled long ago.
Be careful with me.
I'm a woman 
in chains for so long...
I'm dangerously sick
for freedom.
If I'm not free from now on
I'll kill you or I'll kill myself.
And my blood will be
on your hands.
This is my curse on you!
I just want to be myself...

HOMELESS LOVE II

Dear smart eyes,
the most probable is
death will only tear us apart...
See, between you and I
there is pure mutual need
for tenderness and consolation.
There will be always hunger
for understanding and support.
You call me princess,
but I'm just hopeless,
in a whole house,a homeless.
My last bright lights are 
the same as yours
Jesus Christ and Poetry.
We didn't met by chance...
We met because we recognised 
each other as spiritual soulmates.
I can't write a right  poem for you.
My feelings  are too transluscent
to become some kind of art.

TO MY FRIEND CHARLAX

TRANSPARENCY

http://www.artnet.com/artwork/425696625/425370889/unmask-group-translucency-4.html

There are there deep back
two dark green lakes,
where once I was washing 
all my sorrows and aches.
I do not remember enough anymore
to derive consolation
from the wrecks of their seabed.
The oblivion and the silence was
always enemies of my existence.
They were negating me, shrinking me.
I was unlucky.
I could live forever
only with a dream.
The reality was
so transparent for me!
Sometimes I wish
I had been born blind.

AS LONG AS I LIVE, I LEARN

I suffer for what I accepted.
I suffer for what I tolerated.
I suffer for what I trusted.
Life long gagged   thought I 
that if I fight for what is beautiful,
if I was sacrified for the perfect,
I would  stifle the scream, 
which were overflowing me
would extinguish the fire, 
which was burning me.
What I tried to hide 
under the carpet
became the nightmare 
which is haunting me.
What have I done? I will die
silent, burnt, half
and definitely alone.
You walk in this path only forward.
At least I learned some things.
I continue to learn.
Do not weep, nothing gives hope for ever.
I was for what you had got. 
For nothing more.
You were for what I had got. 
For nothing more.
Do not let yourself  be deceived. 
Calm down.
No matter  where we go to.
Yes, it hurts and I move on.
In this path you can only walk forward.

MY POETIC GLOW'S THEORY ( edited version by Pradeep Bhatt)

I never knew who I was!

So...When you say tenderly,

"You're this and that..." my eyes quote your lips with suspicion;

Not because you don’t say the truth

But because you don’t say it sincerely enough.

I grew up with my eyes down;

Drawing stars on the ground

Only if they sold belief 

in the flea market I would have 

Bought some to look up and

Watch those stars shine on my struggle 

to know myself. And then to finally know 

that I know nothing at all. 

Today you said something that

Surprised me so much,

That I was forced to hide

And assimilate it quietly

In my soothing poetry.

"Don't say I flatter”, you said,

"When I praise you! Ha! Foolish woman!

Of my friends you are the blessed one -

Who can:

Speak with strength,

Listen with endurance,

And express through words.

You are one of the few people,

Who can affect my mind! 

I am fascinated by your

Poems, and I can only do but 

Rise through them.

Blessed I am by your lyric presence!"

So you, my word, I am burdened now

To maintain you with a greater force.

Erato! Have you crowned me with 

your Glories or have I misunderstood 

your plays? Whenever I write, 

I feel possessed-the Muse lingers 

As I waste the ink and when

I stop to read again 

What you whispered

In my ear, I can’t do much but wonder 

Who stretched and exposed my soul-

My poor soul - on paper?

I feel the pain, the suffering and the shame.

But I find it impossible to stop even for once

IN THIS YOUTUBE THE POEM

IS RECITED BY MY AMERICAN

FELLOW POET DARIN PORTER