HOMELESS LOVE II

Dear smart eyes,
the most probable is
death will only tear us apart...
See, between you and I
there is pure mutual need
for tenderness and consolation.
There will be always hunger
for understanding and support.
You call me princess,
but I'm just hopeless,
in a whole house,a homeless.
My last bright lights are 
the same as yours
Jesus Christ and Poetry.
We didn't met by chance...
We met because we recognised 
each other as spiritual soulmates.
I can't write a right  poem for you.
My feelings  are too transluscent
to become some kind of art.

TO MY FRIEND CHARLAX

TRANSPARENCY

http://www.artnet.com/artwork/425696625/425370889/unmask-group-translucency-4.html

There are there deep back
two dark green lakes,
where once I was washing 
all my sorrows and aches.
I do not remember enough anymore
to derive consolation
from the wrecks of their seabed.
The oblivion and the silence was
always enemies of my existence.
They were negating me, shrinking me.
I was unlucky.
I could live forever
only with a dream.
The reality was
so transparent for me!
Sometimes I wish
I had been born blind.

AS LONG AS I LIVE, I LEARN

I suffer for what I accepted.
I suffer for what I tolerated.
I suffer for what I trusted.
Life long gagged   thought I 
that if I fight for what is beautiful,
if I was sacrified for the perfect,
I would  stifle the scream, 
which were overflowing me
would extinguish the fire, 
which was burning me.
What I tried to hide 
under the carpet
became the nightmare 
which is haunting me.
What have I done? I will die
silent, burnt, half
and definitely alone.
You walk in this path only forward.
At least I learned some things.
I continue to learn.
Do not weep, nothing gives hope for ever.
I was for what you had got. 
For nothing more.
You were for what I had got. 
For nothing more.
Do not let yourself  be deceived. 
Calm down.
No matter  where we go to.
Yes, it hurts and I move on.
In this path you can only walk forward.

MY POETIC GLOW'S THEORY ( edited version by Pradeep Bhatt)

I never knew who I was!

So...When you say tenderly,

"You're this and that..." my eyes quote your lips with suspicion;

Not because you don’t say the truth

But because you don’t say it sincerely enough.

I grew up with my eyes down;

Drawing stars on the ground

Only if they sold belief 

in the flea market I would have 

Bought some to look up and

Watch those stars shine on my struggle 

to know myself. And then to finally know 

that I know nothing at all. 

Today you said something that

Surprised me so much,

That I was forced to hide

And assimilate it quietly

In my soothing poetry.

"Don't say I flatter”, you said,

"When I praise you! Ha! Foolish woman!

Of my friends you are the blessed one -

Who can:

Speak with strength,

Listen with endurance,

And express through words.

You are one of the few people,

Who can affect my mind! 

I am fascinated by your

Poems, and I can only do but 

Rise through them.

Blessed I am by your lyric presence!"

So you, my word, I am burdened now

To maintain you with a greater force.

Erato! Have you crowned me with 

your Glories or have I misunderstood 

your plays? Whenever I write, 

I feel possessed-the Muse lingers 

As I waste the ink and when

I stop to read again 

What you whispered

In my ear, I can’t do much but wonder 

Who stretched and exposed my soul-

My poor soul - on paper?

I feel the pain, the suffering and the shame.

But I find it impossible to stop even for once

IN THIS YOUTUBE THE POEM

IS RECITED BY MY AMERICAN

FELLOW POET DARIN PORTER 

PSYCHOANALYSIS

The gap is growing
and it is unbearably liberating.
"I could never be so good
to deal with how the old lady
will pass the road... "someone said.
I was always the good one, thus I grew up...
I was neglecting myself.
I'm learning now to shrink roles.
Learning to forget others.
Learning to look at last
shortcomings in me.
Learning to  ignore you,
'cause your love is killing me.
I wanted to live with you.
I'm here, you are elsewhere.
Voluntarily you no longer come near me.
It's just natural selection.
I have to accept it  emotionally,
to assimilate it.
I owe it to my precious self.

HOMELESS LOVE

I have a friend, a homeless poet away ...

Hungry, but he stands for me with loving care.

He helped me to understand that the man I loved

put my own good above his own fair.

FLOWERING

http://www.hudsonvalleypainter.com/category/flower-gardens-and-flowering-trees/

I don't  live in sorrow.
I live in lifelong joy.
Smiling I welcome
the playful, the flowering,
the sweet breeze of spring.
Many ways out, love's around.
In children's eyes, gentle caress.
Bugs are buzzing.Feathered 
are joining together.
I remember.Always 
during flowering
I have been loved.
So I long for
what left me to
become a picture
to the collages of my mind,
to thrill me,
to look for it
but also to shine
in my sky
like the sun
calling me to live.
Flowery my past,
even though withered.
Joy sharing.
Creation 's beginning.
Struggle awakening!
And if the painful scars,
without them there,
I couldn't feel the beauty.
To you,Love!
you embrace the
life's wild beast.
You will blossom
the poppies in the purple
meadow of tomorrow.
Whatever will be your form,
you are the Love of Life!


TO MY FRIEND  AMERICAN POET cHARLAX!!!

IN THIS YOUTUBE THE POEM
IS RECITED BY MY AMERICAN
FELLOW POET DARIN PORTER 
FROM THE
MiND Poetics and Writers
(Poetry and Writing) 
fb group