UNDERLYING LACK

Where are you? Where are you? 
You told me lies. Or a lot of truth. I don't know what to believe. 
The dazzling summer light makes it less visible. 
The shine erases the separating lines. 
But I miss you unbearably. 
Times I want to take off my heart with rage, 
to throw it on the rocks like an octopus, as the divers usually do , 
so it stops to beat for you, 
so it ceases to writhe, to give signs of life,so it  softens. 
I 'm looking for you, I 'm looking around, 
I 'm saying to myself:" it can not be, he will come,he 'll appear, 
it can not be all this an illusion, 
How could I be the only one who's  suffocating, fighting , choking, 
I can not just be crazy. 
I was never unbalanced or too lustful. I was really restrained. 
How and why this happened with you, why then this to die so soon? 
Why, hell, had it to be born? What was its meaning , 
since I'm more alone afterwards? 
I detest myself, when I require to  classify it. 
and then I have to classify it as a failure or a mistake.
I detest my soul to regret to have loved you.
How could such a voracious love be condemned to death? 
I detest the voice which 's sucking my consciousness, 
the one which tries  to erase you as  past, 
which repeats thousands of times, 
-in the nights of the heat wave, when I sweat on  my wet sheets-
that what is worth, what is true, it is never eroded and gone. 
I cannot tolerate another sad summer. 
How can you just stop to exist for me?

PLEA

http://allthingsgirl.com/2008/05/plea-by-ashley-lebedev/

Please, listen to me!
You've  sealed your ears with wax,
like the sailors of Ulysse,
as if I was a Siren,
aiming to make you perish,
singing to misguide you,
you to be disorientated.
I 'm simply here,
trying to reach your hand,
completely calm and serene.
Completely innocent and  empty of aims.
Lost to your passion,
giving myself to your lust.
I' m not a soul's hunter.
I just will try to cure your wounds,
if you willingly let yourself to my arms.
I could never harm you...
but you, you could kill me, see?
I'm so defenseless now...

CRIPPLED

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikegeorge/3048251867/

I cannot write any song about you anymore,

you're just a scar now, the wound is gone.

I cannot console myself about you anymore,

you 've been a deformation on my soul.

Reality has overstepped  you, you're no menace; 

only a hurting nightmare at night.

Your photos are reminding me, you 'll always pass as 

trampling on my heart, bleeding inside.

Oh dear, you are my eternal mate, why did you resist?

Why were you letting death to annoy you?  

I'm limping sorrowful, out of your shadow, in the mist

a crippled being , alone without you.

A STRANGE PERSON

See I 'm feeling hard babe

I'm in the middle of people I cannot understand

I'm opposite to  cruel ideas, they don't seem to end

I love my work, I do it well

It seems for this reason I will  be expelled

I have no metron in my life but I can't harm

even a fly annoying, I  drive it away nodding my arm.

I want you endlessly, you just went away

I stay alone, remembering you, throwing flowers in your way.

All this around is changing, people hate.

I feel the love for every being, I trust fate.

I enjoy the sun, the nature, simple life

although I often feel I 'm stabbed in the back with a knife.

No matter, I'm used to it, I won't change.

I'll stay bleeding,gullible, even strange...

BENIGH LUMPINESS

 

I write poems in my sleep
or when I wake up or when I cry.
I was many years in silencing,
now the cup has overflowed.

I talked to myself metering syllables,
every time my inhuman logic retreated,
I let my emotion to breathe.

My best poems are unwritten,
they are inscribed on my heart’s scars.

I protected you, my reason,
when you were chirping arrogantly, 
showing off to me your big words…

Until now I withstood to do not yell, 
to keep the tones low.
I reduced myself with rhymes and meters, 
hid myself behind the pace,
or earlier sung the pain of others.

The knot in the neck is now cureless.
I suffer from benign lumpiness of the spirit,
Overproduction of emotional cells.
I must methodically remove the extra
to avoid harming of my vital organs …
I always hope the prognosis to be true:

My disease not to be contagious.

DANGEROUS PUPPET

Their worlds were different
She had the suspicion she could hurt him.
Even the thought of this matter, 
as passing through her mind, made her insecure. 
She could not withstand though
to be insulted by his strange behaviour.
She was ignorant of his character's peculiarities.
She could never be aware of the scars which were sculpted
on his mind and soul by his hard life.
She was always a puppet in a puppet's house.
What could she understand about his cruel experiences?
Why does he insist to be loving her?
Why does he continue to think she worths it?
Why does he try to fit the unfitting?
Why does he say he cannot live without her?
Why is he stuck into a false dream?
He should leave her in her loneliness...
She had the best intentions , though 
their distance makes her a bad influence for him.
She had done  wrong to let him mess with her kind.
She's dangerous for men like him...

HUMANS OR JUST MAMMALS?

For what else are we really reassured 

in this world of pain

except for our personal fantasies?

Do you see them, mother Earth?

Do you see the homeless, the hungry ones, 

the slaughtered ones, the wronged ones,

the sick ones, the criminals?

Do you really see them?

Do you realize that your sons and daughters

can sooner or later become a part of

the Whole World's Miserable Ones?

Have you ever consciously had

even the slightest suspicion about this probability?

Have you already had this frightening nightmare? 

Has it crossed your mind that Your Roses could wither,

That they will probably grow thorns?

Well, I never felt secure in my fake success...

There are wolves thirsty for power

There are hyenas hungry for corpses

There are vultures eager for wealth

If you find a way to cease this worldwide dearth

then you'll find a way in fact for your family to grow,

for the whole living creation to survive!

Believe me! 

I saw it with my own eyes

The Beast is near

THE MAY BEETLE

I offered to myself a victory.

I said I wish and it became true again.

The only thing that I 've never dared 

to demand ...