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| Taif Ali Al Jurdi - Syrian Artist |
I'm really mad today!
It comes to me from time to time...
When I squeeze my hands till they bleed.
When I prepare myself for a battle
Without name or reason.
When I hit my head on the wall
Shouting WHY? I feel so deserted in that why!
So I hurt the innocent ones today.
The ones I should protect.
Just because I can hurt them.
Just to feel guilty afterwards.
I'm really mad today!
I was walking outside
feeling my blood pressure
so high, my mind could explode.
Hearing my heart's pulse like a
thunderous drum which smashes my eardrums.
I'm really mad today!
It's just you continue to ignore me.
It's just I decided to let you go,
to throw you away from my heart,
to see my dream collapsing
as I face the truth: Your presence
in my mind is killing me...I MUST
kill it first. I MUST expel from there
even the tiniest memory.
I must forget your existence.
I must cut your piece out of my soul and flesh,
by myself, summarily, cause
the mirror laughs at me continuously,
the mirror says these things are not for
people of my kind, the mirror says
"Behave! You're a grown middle aged woman!
You only have to maintain your prestige
and live a bit longer...This is not for you!"
The mirror is right, since you are not here,
since I failed, it is right! Anyway
I see in there exactly what it shouts to me
with my own eyes...I'm really mad today...
