AUTOBIOGRAFICAL II

My universe is collapsing.
My untamed mother starts losing it .
My daddy who never doubted me,
will quickly pass away  at his bedsides
one of these mornings
due to his slaughtered heart.
The wars of love  ended and the loneliness wins .
And my sweet  children are not kids anymore.
My friends are getting older.
My brothers and sisters are lost in the space of their lives.
My mirror is reflecting that my gaze became
tired, deformed, it doesn't look like
that of the loveable "promising" child
Who has been terrified and lost to memory.
From all over and in front of all,
Behind of all and after all,
I'm scarred by Death and he trains me.
He's working stealthily, always undaunted,
preparing his final touch.
I dare to look at you in the eyes now,
Oh Pluton, lord of Tantalus!
Ha! I am sure, you will not abandon me.
You're cruel, greedy, satrap-
But beautiful, like my last love.
You are comforting me; life-Persephone is reborn everywhere
Fresh, young and fancy out of the Acherousia,
fed by the flesh of our dead people.
You are so charming; you attract me so much into oblivion!
Unimaginably terrifying and inscrutable amid the silence.
Conquered and subjugated by you ; I've been astounded by you!
Yes, I fall in love with you more and more.
But hostile lover, I also got a victory .
What a futility of the history of beings, really.
I 've recorded in hasty but sincere words,
whoops; they will stay  far behind me
testifying to the passions of my soul.
Reminding to those who I loved
that they weren't always alone.

THE FIREWORKS

I want to stop your eyes looking at me.
I wished to stop my eyes  looking at you.
You detached me by force from your heart.
Separated me hastily from your needs.
Poisoned me with the drug of the plaintive silence.
Condemned and tortured me with an unimaginable phimosis.
What do you do then? What do I do ? What do we do?
The instinctive. The insurmountable. The unbearable.
I'm looking for you and you're looking for me.
Closing doors, we are agonizing at the keyhole.
Our bodies are communicating subconsciously.
You had declared to me, you wanted to let your imprints on me.
But I also left  mine right on your soul.

You are seeing me so strongly that you do not want to see me.
I see you so often in amazing signs and omens.
I disguised myself many times to peek at you.
Delusion, why?
Even in Hades I will continue seeing you.
I'll leave death to have his throne inside me.
I already left it ; my soul is grieving dressed in black .
Do not dare to approach me; ach God, what am I saying ?
We committed crimes, we are no longer innocent.
By approach, we could be ignited as defective fireworks .
We never thought , it would have been a notable death.
But we would drag behind us unsuspecting, pure, new-grown souls.

THAT "ACH"

http://brokenmystic.wordpress.com/

When at that dawn,
Centuries ago,
You told me
"See you"
And returned
Into your life,
I sat down
At the terrace
Looking for
The rising  sun.


I had smoked,
as much as I  withstood
Although I do not smoke.
And the breeze
Which was caressing me,
Did not abandon me,
As you did.
For a while
"I blacked out."


I tried
Hard to get myself together.
I had been scared
by the possibility of finding me
There,
Frozen,
Covered
With morning dew.
I heard a seagull 
Cawing
Sadly.
I had been lost
In the dark
Of Hades
All alone.
Knowing
That you did hide from me  many things
And I from you nothing .
I gave you everything 
Forever.
Drama, huh?
Out of that
Gloom,
You know,
I never
Did come back.
And let  Colorful moments
Buzzing 
All around me.


I am
Dedicated to that
Running away.
And to an "Ach!"
Which had escaped  from your trembling breath,
While you were asleep.
No need you to talk to me again.
I had earned my "Ach!"

TO DO NOT...

http://brokenbrilliant.wordpress.com/2011/11/15/overcoming-loneliness/

To do not see me

To do not hear me

To do not look at me

To do not taste me

To do not talk to you

To do not remember me

To do not remember you

To do not smell me

To do not exist

Could this gonna be okay?

I quit.

I elude the pain.

Maybe I 'll find a way

To shut you out of

My dark dreams.

I'm abandoning you.

I abandoned MYSELF centuries ago.

OH RELENTLESS SPRING!

http://www.flora2000.com/blog/2009/11/05/innocence-%E2%80%93-children%E2%80%99s-day/

I'll mourn continuously

Until my eyes will be blinded.

Until  spring does not push me

to look back.

Until the sources of my tears

run dry.

I'm kneeling imploring the nature

to cease challenging me;

my hair to turn white

calmly, without any rush.

With no burning torch,

causing painful burns

in my chest
in my mind

in my vagina.

I'll mourn continuously knelt.

I'll look for my mutilated

Innocence.

SIRENS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:
Knut_Ekwall_Fisherman_and_The_Siren.jpg

I 'm screaming so loud.
My voice, is heard up to the end of the universe.
Many  are  seduced by my Sirens.
I'm caressed by unfamiliar hands. 
Raving nations and barbarian tribes.
But you are tied to the mast,
My Ulysses
Your ears are also clogged with wax 
You are standing (what are you waiting for?)
Impassive, silent and lonely.
You do not see the boat leaking, sinking?
Better dive into the sea and come to find me.
Is it then better you to be drown there tied?
Are you afraid of grabbing me of my hair 
And of pulling me into the depths?
I am a mermaid and my glance is killing.
Snakes in my hair are poisoning you.
Stoned your heart because of me.
Forked my tongue is hissing,
As it is caressing your face
I called you with a thousand names.
I 'm screaming so loud,
That my voice is heard down to Hades.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siren

DERANGED WORLD

http://www.tunisia-live.net/2011/12/10/
tunisia-celebrates-human-rights-day/

You often mention she uses the Word nicely.
However every time she does it
She just struggles to comprehend human world.

THE EXHIBIT

Whatever I do, whatever I am, whatever I live
Since then, when I lost You,
It is a gift to You.
Nothing else, I can give you any more.
Rejected.
Just my new Self
Packed in  package.
You're the instigator
Of this mutation.
Something banal becomes a rare Exhibit.
"Do not touch!" is written upon it.

ONCE UPON A TIME

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hendrik_ter_Brugghen_-_Heraclitus.jpg

"Once upon a time
Oh my love, 
There was 
A beautiful lady ... "
If you had seen me again,
I would have changed.
The sorrow aged me horribly
Weakened, etched.
If I had seen you again,
You would have changed,
Fear and silence
Are deforming.
I would not be the one
You left behind.
Neither you'd be the same
Who I used to follow  gasping.
You would not be,I would not be.
It would never be again,
What we experienced before.
Keep it dearly inside you.
Only like that, it could have been.
Nothing more.
"...Oh  Sun, please, enlighten him,
Moon, go and talk to him
For my sake ... "
We were whistling low,
Together coordinated,
Just  the same
Harmonic Song.
Alas! "Everything changes " ...
Oh! " nothing remains still... "
And... "you cannot step twice
Into the same stream . "
Afraid to be drown.
Only there in the cobwebbed
In the multi- locked
Drawers of memory,
Which are desirable to be ignored
And maintained
As a salvation in suffocation.
As a redeeming lullaby.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heraclitus

IMPLYING

I hate, 
Whatever 
Made you 
Running away 
From me.
Understand.
What I'm implying.
I'm taking revenge.
Lately
I started again 
To hate.
Myself.